tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-101994242024-02-28T08:03:58.809-08:00Forest4TheTreesSlipping sideways...Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-87007099589911413832014-05-10T14:23:00.003-07:002014-05-10T14:23:49.243-07:00No Click Track in the CanSo this is a fun experience. This is a Google site, but using Google Chrome makes editing impossible, at least on my system. I'm typing blindly, no click track in the can, and hoping that this will actually be publishable. Maybe this isa good exercise. Nope. Just frustrating and lame.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-47501085591427996252011-12-22T22:42:00.000-08:002011-12-22T22:44:05.596-08:00Merry Christmas! (I remembered I have a blog!)Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-76256300179096896302011-07-21T16:22:00.000-07:002011-07-21T16:37:35.633-07:00Blah blah blah de bla- Ooh, Dexter is on!I'm dancing a choreographic display of doing the daily thing. Work, sleep, recover from being sick, work. Rinse and repeat. But I've also taken to looking forward to TV shows with a troubling intensity. These things are the two dancers squiring me across the floor of life right now. Functionality and TV to get by. Lovely...<br />But Dexter is awesome. I'm catching up on all the previous episodes which has been a real delight. If someone mentions another show, I'm ridiculously piqued in interest and reaching for the On Demand button. I can't share how much the cable bill is right now - it's kind of embarrassing.<br />You know, though - I'm at least making it through having some health issues without any time off, which is something to be thankful for. And in the Pacific Northwest, our weather resembles the hibernation of the winter - chilly, rainy, dark days that are better suited for huddling inside and seeking comfort. So the environs match the motivation right now.<br />I'm wrapping up Season 4 and looking forward to Outcasts (still giving that a shot) and TrueBlood on Sunday. When does The Walking Dead come back, anyway?! :DCat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-47392541605060411792011-06-18T11:21:00.000-07:002011-06-18T12:02:01.540-07:00Releasing The Ties That Bind"Where you invest your love, you invest your life."<br />Mumford & Sons<br /><br />It appears that I am bound by my conceptions. I don't want to cut these ties that are holding me because sometimes they hold me together. But at this time, I am bound by them. So I need to untie them for a bit and proceed.<br /><br />I'm sitting in the clinic, struck by loss. Surriya, the doctor's mother in law, has passed away. She was beautiful - a radiant person with a smile and courage as she fought cancer. We had a connection - I think I loved her upon first meeting her. I haven't been able to grieve these past two weeks since she passed because I'm holding down the fort at the office and it's once again a person with whom I am peripherally involved but has strongly impacted my recent life. She brought persimmons from home when she visited. I loved to see her smile. And I've kept a pink sweater that is three times too small because she thought I would like it. Once again, someone who shows everyone with whom they interact a gentle, shining soul is gone, and I have to absorb how their impact on me can be turned into something good as a tribute.<br /><br />It's Father's Day tomorrow, and for some reason it's hard this year. Actually, I know why. I'm going to pick up the sword and make a run through the gauntlet. Dad's life's work - I can't put it off any longer or it will fade away. I don't know how long it will take me to work through the codes, research the historical references, and apply the information. I suspect I have two to three books on my hands. Or on my head, really. Taking a deep breath...<br /><br />I know just four months ago I posted about how I can't wait for the time when I have nothing to do. School ended two months ago and I'm falling into a dank well of self-recrimination. It's good that I had time to identify that my aspirations aren't about accolades or a tally sheet to justify my existence. I just can't drink the mundane waters of 'getting by' and thrive. I diminish. <br /><br />So now I have to acknowledge that I need these outlets - all of them. I will never choose just one thing to do and do it really well. I will flail; I am a Cat o' Nine Tails hitting several targets at once. And if it's never a bullseye, it's okay because I'm still taking down the enemy: Complacency.<br /><br />That's a part of who I am. Just like falling in love with people, even when I don't feel as though I have expressed that love or gotten enough time with them. Whomever is involved in my life is loved.<br /><br />Today I will pull the cord and let the ties fall to the floor. I'll be back for them later.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-32786109887299722922011-02-01T14:34:00.000-08:002011-02-01T16:20:13.487-08:00The Dissociative OrderSo the first half of my grant certificate went pretty well, though it was exhausting. Whereas my excitement for school had burned like the sun at the outset, it slowly faded to a mere glimmer before the 'break' between semesters, and it's only growing dimmer as we've stumbled out of the first month of the year.<br />And honestly, it's more like we escaped the beginning of this year, much as though it were the seediest, grimiest, most disgusting club in a bad neighborhood. You know the kind; you wander in for a quick drink and it's so dark that you can't see the filth & menace around you until you're at the bar and question if the bartender is the same species. Then, you try and fail to escape its gravitational pull of despair, so in desperation you hurl yourself toward the door and pray that the detritus strewn about the floor doesn't wrap up your ankle and do a Hotel California on your ass. <br />2011 has not been fun so far. Keefe had the pneumonia at the end of December during the break between semesters (Merry Christmas!) and we've lost a friend, Zach, at the beginning of January. And it is a loss; there's so many things that we had planned: <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Gally</span>, Doctor Who viewing parties, Keefe's shows, and to try and set up another Doctor Who event here in Seattle. But mainly it's the fact that he was such a sweet guy who had so many interests and took so much interest in others that it is a loss keenly felt.<br />Every year that passes tallies another person that moves on. As we grow older, how each of us deals with death is impacted by the circumstances of these losses and the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">circuitous</span> paths that we travel in grief. I've heard from a few people who knew Zach purely from online interactions as well as those who partied with him at <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Gally</span> and were friends on <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Facebook</span>. Some seem to think that they don't have as much right as others who interacted with him face-to-face to mourn his passing. But that's ridiculous.<br />Does this mean that coworkers have no right to mourn the passing of a fellow employee? Working in the same building and interacting for an hour or so per day or week means that you get to know someone - and if it's someone like Zach, you'll be touched by them. Kids, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">Facebook</span> and online forums are like that - you are interacting once a day or week, hearing about plans, dreams, or even just shooting the breeze. Add the fact that you see that person once a year (or even a couple of times) at an intense event like <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">Gally</span> and you're more than a face in the crowd.<br />Our world is changing, but it has also changed already. Most of us interact online and spend a percentage of time interacting with other human beings in that forum. It's legitimate to make connections with people you don't even see but with whom you have continuous contact and to feel something for them. It's if you don't that should raise some eyebrows.<br />Wow, guess I had something to say about that. I've actually deleted quite a bit as I went all <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">ranty</span>. Not only about the validation of emotion in online interactions, but the fact that grief is not linear - the biggest disservice is the popularization of the perception that there are stages to grief. It makes it feel like a process that, once you've touched upon each stage like a stone in a pond, you shouldn't have to worry about falling in again. But it's not so easy; you can skip all the way across the pond and then see <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">someone's</span> photo and fall right back into it. You can jump from denial to anger and make it all the way to acceptance until you talk with a mutual friend and then you're jumping on the anger stone again.<br />But we seem to need a way to distance ourselves from these emotional rides, so we identify, categorize, and attempt to make sense of things that are inherently non-<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-error">sensical</span> intellectually and can only be sensed, experienced. It's like we want a membership card for the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Dissociative</span> Order so we can operate in spite of our frailties. This past month, I nearly applied to join.<br />There are no trumpets when we close out our life that signal success. Time marches on. People move on. Zach's memorial was beautiful and let us know how active he was at work, at church, in Doctor Who, with soccer & the Sounders, in his community, with Transformers - but he never let anyone feel as though he didn't have time for them. He came to Keefe's shows as though he had nothing else to do on a Friday or Saturday night. He chatted on the phone when I called, never seeming as though it wasn't a good time for babble. When the time came at the memorial for people to say something about him, the shyness was overtaken with anecdotes of things he had done and people he had influenced for the better. And I realized that I could do better. Not only with people but with my perception of what I want my life to be. I've been processing this for a couple of weeks. Chewing on it in my subconscious.<br />And while I have, apathy has made a strong case to me - it's amazing how insidious it can be. Procrastinating homework, ignoring the paperwork at the office, and throwing all of my toys into the craft room again and closing the door without a twinge. All I can think of is getting done with school and not doing more for a while, getting done with projects that have loomed over my head as I put everything on hold for school, and not having to DO anything for a bit. <br />It would be great if this was the product of a revelation, but it is the symptom of processing. Not too many times in my life have I succumbed to this, and thankfully there was a sunny day today showing all the promise of Spring to shake me awake. What the hell did I almost do?! There is a sweet feeling to melancholy and a lethargy that lulls you when you're in the throes of apathy. It feels as goodbad as having cake and ice cream at midnight, alone except for The Return of the King and the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">far off</span> mutterings of one's conscience.<br />So I lean in a bit and hear it calling. Focus. Stay on target. But my target changed. It's like the Death Star went into hyperspace and my third eye knew exactly where it had gone, but the X-Wing couldn't follow. My S-coils are still locked and ready to fire - so I pause. I regroup.<br />There is no ribbon at the end ~ hell, there's no finish line because death is not a conscious state. What I do or what I don't do is answerable only to me as long as I draw breath. I've come to a partial realization of this once or twice before, acknowledging that I should enjoy the path or it is not worth traveling, and that experiences are more important than accomplishments. I don't have a C.V. that I need to hand to anyone, a summary of my life's successes to justify admittance or even my existence. What I have, is a responsibility to myself to be happy.<br />So once again, I'll turn my eyes to the joy to be found in life, in others, and experience everything I can while I can do so. This means I can have my cake [and ice cream] and eat it, too.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-15107756193914668292010-12-02T22:29:00.001-08:002010-12-02T22:29:48.703-08:00I'm a big Star Wars fan. And by fan, I really am intending the original usage of the word, a shortened version of 'fanatic.' Quicker to say, but supposed to convey a level of interest that goes beyond a passing appreciation and into the realms of reference quoting, multiple viewings, and overbearing exuberance.<br /><br />So when Lester Brown begins to discuss in this week's video the current perception held by a lot of people in relation to sustainability, I began to think of a little 900 year old Jedi master. Mr. Brown was detailing the verbiage commonly used when considering the options of sustainability, namely a phrase of something being 'more sustainable' or 'less sustainable.' I immediately heard it in my head: "Do, or do not. There is no try."<br /><br />To me, sustainability is not a platform-defining political buzzword to be bandied about in hopes of getting the greenies on board. Nor is it another compromise extended to the masses or a great new angle for advertising. To sustain is to do more than just maintain; we're not trying to keep a status quo. There is not an easy way out here. The goal of sustainability is to equilibrate - achieve a balance. Balance implies a natural renewability that does not require outside influences in order to attain that status, and as such, sustainability is a state of being. In order to reach it, our civilization will need to change.<br /><br />In Leading Change Toward Sustainability, Bob Doppelt conveys that the change necessary is to provide and protect our options. His example of the Northwest salmon was particularly apt to illustrate that sustainability requires more than one solution, and that the beginning steps involve reforming paradigms such as the financial and social benefits inherent in such change. Rather than relegating the philosophical goals of sustainability to the backburner as not being fiscally cognizant, it's important for the worldwide change toward sustainability be encompassing and inclusive in order to succeed.<br /><br />It really is all about the "Community of Life" as identified in the Earth Charter. All that goes into a community, the people, the location, the goals and accepted behaviors therein, are to be invested in this new world vision. And to sustain that community is of utmost importance. We just have a bit of a drive ahead of us to get there, and one challenge is the communication of the vision.<br /><br />With so many different definitions of sustainability, from the community idea to the more analytical interpretations, it's hard for people to grasp to what extent such a vast change is needed. Instead, we have social connotations assigned to the movement of hippies, greenies, etc. We have politics and international posturing to overcome. Yet what is clearly important at this critical stage is to clearly convey what we hope to achieve so that we can combat any misconceptions and begin to take meaningful steps at all levels to reach sustainability. For how can we inspire a worldwide restructuring that will affect governments and individuals, economics and religious beliefs, and in fact all aspects of society without a clear definition of what we need to do, why it affects us all, and really, why we cannot fail?<br /><br />We don't have an X-wing stuck in the swamp to show how our tiny frame can move mountains with the power of our mind alone. But we must do, or do not. There is no try - because Earth doesn't get a sequel.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-21663599956376526602010-11-09T09:46:00.001-08:002010-11-09T09:46:52.415-08:00Conceptualizing a ReconnectionEach raindrop seems so uniform; just part of the wall that's descending from the leaden sky as we are finally tossed into the season of Fall. The showers are varying from light to insistent, but in all cases, the rainy season has begun. So it's easy to contemplate water right now; we're enveloped by it in a meteorological sense, encapsulated by its presence around us.<br />All this week I've thought about rain and how it can be such a great example of perceived disconnection. Sitting in the living room and watching the cars outside, headlights illuminating the raindrops, their paths punctuated by the sound of the wheels on the wet pavement. Each raindrop appears to be separate, though it is traveling at the same rate, in the same direction, and reflects the same basic physical form as every other raindrop. Project members and proponents tend to do this; seem to be disconnected from the whole when in fact all are moving toward the same goal, so a dual existence is established, one separate, but still connected.<br />In a project, the members tend to operate from their own space. Maybe it's the whole 'every snowflake is unique' thing, but there are so many instances where this is the case, just like that rainwater that is perceived as separate raindrops.<br />We separate the oceans, though as William McDonough noted in this week's video, all of the oceans are part of one system, much like a 'toilet that doesn't flush.' We have different names for rivers and streams and lakes, though it's all the same water traveling through those conduits.<br />So if every goal to be achieved will have some disconnection between the phases of the project, perhaps a lesson is to be learned from the under-appreciated raindrop. It’s let loose from the sky, its existence then determined by the environment around it and anything that will interact with the raindrop.<br />This could also be the way to establish a project. The design of the project and launch could be exactly like a raindrop leaving the cloud; purposefully and without any fanfare. Since we have learned that an educational approach is not the most successful per the studies conducted, we know that frontloading a project with educational buy-in promotional trappings would be mainly ignored.<br />For this reason, though I would want to have some educational information available for a project, I wouldn’t need to address everything at inception. Instead, having the educational products be manufactured during creation of the project would help give cause for all invested project members to be involved and cooperating with one another. This would be applied as well to producing the follow-up information and continuation of the project.<br />Much like how raindrops converge upon striking a surface, pooling immediately, thus would the project members combine to become part of the whole again, which would ensure that the end result is more successful.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-82889513690616517812010-09-05T03:35:00.000-07:002010-09-05T03:53:53.407-07:00I Am The Sum Of My EndeavorsAnd right now, my endeavors are play-oriented with one lightning-from-blue-sky caveat. <br />Mainly I'm having fun with Bejeweled Blitz. So here's a few life lessons from the game:<br /><ul><li>Don't always take the easiest path; it seems easier but you have to work twice as fast and your score will never be as high as when you think things through. Investment/Return.</li><li>On the other hand, don't overcomplicate things because you'll waste valuable time in planning, not execution.</li><li>Avoid getting caught up in your own glory when you're ahead; that moment of arrogance can cost you the critical connection that results in a windfall of combos.</li><li>When you start a new game, take a look around; that first few seconds of assessment will save you floundering later.</li><li>Make sure you cover all of the board that you can - working one area dry is at first too easy (see #1) and then too hard as you get stuck in one place.</li><li>Further, avoid becoming too obsessed about making a particular match since you could pass up on even better matches as you struggle to make that one combo happen.</li><li>If your hand slips and you move the wrong gem, don't brood about it - that's a waste of perfectly good time and that mistake could actually create an even better combo.</li><li>Never give up the game, no matter how bad it seems; there's more than one way to win (coins & badges), but there's only one way to lose.</li><li>Once you've gotten a few good combos, don't think the rest of the game will just come naturally; you may have to fight even harder to make connections for a bit but the diligence always pays off.</li><li>Give yourself a good mix of easy matches and strategy; keep going and watch out for those sweet opportunities that can push you to the next level.</li></ul><p>But that opportunity thing happened - I was just wandering around the local community college website and stumbled across a grant that I spontaneously applied for and then...received. Eeep! Exciting stuff and a bit daunting as my path is once again laid out for me in the coming months. However, it's Energy Management and all about sustainability without compromising technological standards with a vein of physics yumminess. So I'm looking forward to it and wondering just how crazy I am to get into another new round of school with 60+ hours at the clinic. </p><p>Yet it's all about the experiences, right? Any time that I don't have something planned, I squander my free time anyway. So I might as well push the envelope and try to accomplish what I can with the time I have. There's just a tiny spark of hope that this could mean that I do something that has an impact; what a pretty little flame that could be...</p>Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-23722156118315142192010-03-23T11:04:00.000-07:002010-03-23T11:56:43.891-07:00Where did that year go? Oh, yes - OxfordHey ~ that was a quick year. I had thought I'd posted at least once this past year after the last post and kept meaning to come back and check. But no.<br /><br />Oxford obviously was a happy experience. The only residual sadness is that we couldn't go to England for me to collect my diploma, unfortunately. I don't have any backup at work and the trip would be either frustratingly frugal (hence no real touristy fun) or <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">waaay</span> too expensive.<br /><br />Yet I am now trying to figure out the next step. Like always. After a major chapter closes and the horizon beckons with promise, I'm trying to fit the wings to my shoes so I can take off. But I haven't been able to identify what I can do for once.<br /><br />Work is so draining - I have no energy for anything right now. I've hypothesized that it is the nature of existence right now (for a host of reasons, forthcoming) after checking in with a plethora of friends who report similar attitudes. <br /><br />We have had quite a few major disasters and natural phenomena that have lent us a feeling of environmental unease coupled with a global economy that is just a dervish going for the table's edge. Spinning and spinning. Added to that are the rumbles of unrest between China & India, UK and Israel, US and China, Iran and Iran ~ you couple those with the regular heavy hitters of wars simmering in Africa and the Middle East and there is not a part of the world that is exonerated from political brow furrowing.<br /><br />Our domestic fears engage from employment and housing markets that aren't stabilizing as much as we thought they would by now and, of course, the health care bill just being passed.<br /><br />Speaking from one in the medical industry, we clapped on our blinders mid last year and have just peeked out now and again to see how the bill has changed. And it's been like clay, my friends. It was shaped with the public option and has been baked into a gambling tabletop with chips dancing and cards up sleeves. So much brokering has gone on that no one quite knows the implications, and like '93, I am sure (with every beat of my cynical little heart) that 980+B is a mild estimate and it will sound so much more effective than it ever will be. <br /><br />HIPAA alone took 15 years to implement and is now accompanied by an eyeroll for all who have to deal with the clauses and regulations, which were common sense in origin and pure bureaucratic nonesense in execution. And since there is STILL usage of other provider identification numbers beyond NPI, the useful impact of this legislation to assist electronic billing and standardization is nullified. So what sort of trauma and terror awaits us now?<br /><br />The credit card 'fix' last year resulted in the companies having enough time before implementation to discern creative new ways to gouge their customers. During the time it takes for the insurance companies to reel and roll with the new regs coming from this bill, they, too, shall have the opportunity to recoup their profits in more creative ways. Oh, wait. Nevermind. They already have with the requirement that small businesses carry the load for required insurance offerings. I haven't read the bill of course, but I don't recall there being any limit on the cost of these insurance plans that small businesses will now be required to subsidize. Oh, the modern American way. How fantastic.<br /><br />Sorry - there are aspects of the bill of which I wholeheartedly approve such as making sure that the less fortunate in the country have medical care. That's the most important thing. Not only the homeless and poor, but those stuck in the middle that cannot apply for public assistance but aren't really getting by, either. I grew up in that atmosphere and it sucks. So I'm really glad that we're moving in the right direction.<br /><br />But I'm really not keen on the idea that our deficit just keeps growing (which is funded mainly by China and has been tying our hands a bit too much lately on that front for my comfort - I hate being nervous about upsetting the foremost country of human rights violations) while we parcel out these substandard attempts at correcting our social issues. The economic bailout didn't patch the ship, it's just a bucket (albiet a very, very pricey one) that's shoveling water and debt into the ocean of America's economic landscape. And right now, health care reform is looking so much like health care rearrangement, just passing the responsibilities around to placate the masses and make our current government feel accomplished, that I'm disheartened.<br /><br />So I guess my hypothesis for the level of apathy in myself and friends is that it's a social depression for which we're not yet getting counseling and taking our meds. My Rx is that we need more exercise as a holistic option: 1. Our minds need a daily workout ~ I need to stay involved in everything I can to keep my focus 2. We need to increase our endorphins through more smiles achieved each day ~ I need to make myself do the fun stuff instead of sacrificing the fun stuff to be productive. I just might find I can be more productive when I start having fun again! 3. Get outside and take advantage of the season ~ Spring is all about rebirth.<br /><br />I've noted that the center will not hold. But I still find beauty in asymmetry, value reconstruction, and can make this work. I just don't know if I want to take part on a more public level yet or not.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-6342003180531602412009-04-25T23:18:00.000-07:002009-04-25T23:36:21.361-07:00Reasons of the SunOh, how happy Oxford has made me. Delving into these old documents and now, planning databases with all the obsessive joy that entails has been thrilling. I'm a sick woman.<br />But there are so many little gems that historians come across every day. Notes made in census logs that are completely random and extraneous, thereby fascinating insights into bias, social structure, and even just plain old gossip. The amazing transformations of surnames from simple occupation identifiers of the masses to new gentry. And oh! All those misspellings that lead you astray with their verisimilitude.<br />I had to share this one: Reasons of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">sunne</span>. In a probate record, all the possessions of a household are listed - valuables, mundane items, even household necessities and sometimes down to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">minutiae</span>. It's actually: Raisins of the sun. How yummy; the description and the item itself!<br />But reasons of the sun instantly made me smile. To imagine the sun as an entity (much like the Doctor Who episode) with motivations <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">unbeknownst</span> to us is delicious. In the lower latitudes, the sun is warrior, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">dominator</span>, cruel master. Farmland and median climates can portray the sun as a benefactor, grandfather, or earth's consort. Cold climes and nature worshiping areas of the world have thought the sun to be goodness, an enveloper, etc. Plenty of cultures of the world worship the sun and some think that all religions derive from sun worship. So to know the reasons of the sun within those connotations puts you in the mind of a diety.<br />But I really had a little grin for it because I imagined areas that don't get much sunshine supplicating a drowsy sun for explanations. The imaginary look of surprise on that personification of our system's star before stammering out a list of 'reasons' for the lack of sunlight is guffaw-inducing.<br />Man, I'm a Seattleite through and through!Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-30740751400765334462009-03-13T23:38:00.001-07:002009-03-13T23:40:04.841-07:00A little Wordle for my Soul PancakeDamn you, Rainn Wilson! You have now given me so much techy writey joy joy that I'm not getting the four hours sleep I wanted this week!<br />Here's the Wordle for my poolside reflections:<br /><a title="Wordle: Becoming" href="http://www.wordle.net/gallery/wrdl/650283/Becoming"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: #ddd 1px solid; PADDING-RIGHT: 4px; BORDER-TOP: #ddd 1px solid; PADDING-LEFT: 4px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 4px; BORDER-LEFT: #ddd 1px solid; PADDING-TOP: 4px; BORDER-BOTTOM: #ddd 1px solid" alt="Wordle: Becoming" src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/650283/Becoming" /></a>Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-50666543575508065362009-03-10T22:56:00.000-07:002009-03-10T23:14:04.187-07:00Immersion to inversionIt happens once in a while; you look askance and see things in a whole new light. Almost as though a shaft of heaven pierces the veil of normality around you and all takes on a golden glow. But no one else can see it. Just you. Maybe you wonder if your eyes cast a new sheen or if your skin swallows some of the glow and it begins to bubble like soda does in the back of your throat with a really good laugh. You might feel like, all of a sudden, it's all just too perfect. Too wonderful. But the best part of it is that you're not yet touched by the fear of loss that can accompany such a realization. You're still bathed in it; swimming with the tiny bubbles of 'now' that swell around you, expands within you, and hopefully, spills out of the pool when the light dims and you emerge, breathing in the air that tastes new because you have not been breathing it for a while. <br />I'm standing by the pool, seeing the light fade but holding the image in my mind and feeling my heart beat with joy that doesn't come from without but rather from within.<br />Because he smiled and he's so damned adorable and we've carved out an island for ourselves amidst this ocean of undercurrents.<br />I'm calm now. Not pensive or reflective or sad or fearful - I'm becoming the stillness of the pool after I've left it. The ripples becoming undulations that ease into swaying before the images of the world, where once fractured, begin to coalesce and become recognizable, though inverted and thereby revealing.<br />So I look. I see.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-4002612941092456352009-03-06T00:44:00.000-08:002009-03-06T00:55:35.621-08:00Pom PomJust having a bit of Pom juice with my Lemon Chalet GS cookies. It was originally supposed to be Limonata soda, but I was greedy and sucked that down too quickly.<br />Much like life, lately. I'm running through experiences so fast that it's already nearing the close of the first quarter 09 and I didn't even have a handle on the end of last year yet. All these projects, aspirations - they all swirl around and I'm hoping they don't funnel down. <br />I'll post a Gally report soon. Always a blast! I'm hoping this becomes an annual thing. We've made such lovely friends there!<br />Around here, I've made two distinct, though happy, errors. I've joined Facebook and Fritter. I mean Twitter. I can waste two hours without noticing the time slippage on it. Talk about frittering away the evening. Both sites are like this. And yet how much fun to run around and read life journeys encapsulated in < 140 words on one and stay in touch with a true horde of friends on the other. It's so efficient that way - you'd think it would mean a savings of time. Instead, it just enables me to interact with even more people! It's a blissful issue.<br />So, onward! I'm off for a touch of paperwork (that should have been done hours ago) and then for bed. Sleep sucks. It's just so dang time consuming...Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-28624200555440882542008-12-04T12:27:00.000-08:002008-12-04T13:02:26.415-08:00If I had a hammerThere's a gentleman, we'll call him Kenny, who comes into the clinic for massage. He's developmentally disabled, with a combination of autism, mental retardation, and possibly other conditions of which I am unaware, and stands 6"3 with a heavy set physique. He's been coming here for years, infrequently, for massage, and looks forward to his visits. Lately, he's not been able to make it, so today was something he was looking forward to with extra expectation.<br />He comes in and needs a hug right away. Usually this is fine, but I'm a germaphobe, and last time he had just finished with some cheetos and left that incandescent yellow, slobbery powder on me. In the past, I've brought a change of scrub top just in case, but wasn't able to today. So this time, I had vowed I wasn't going to hug him, especially since I'm so slammed with the end of the year paperwork.<br />I was bouncing around, trying to work as fast as I could, and he took it in stride. And then he went to the restroom before his massage. He made a few strange noises, and I was so very alarmed; what was he doing in there? I told the massage therapist to double up the sheets in case he's not well and vowed I would clear him for massage by asking if he was sick. It's not a good idea to get a massage when you're ill, not only because you are undressed in a room for an hour and can't easily return to the restroom if needed, but also because it pushes the toxins through your system which amplifies the illness.<br />He came out of the restroom after washing his hands (germaphobes always listen to make sure that handwashing is complete - I've sent grown men back into the restroom if I don't hear that water. Sick, isn't it?) I was typing away, entering billing into the system that is way past due, and asked him if he was okay. He said no and looked away. I focused on him and his eyes were red and began to tear up. <br />"What's wrong?" I ask him and give him a hug like I should've done when he came in. He told me "these guys were mean to me - gave me a hard time" before he just turned his head into my neck and cried.<br />He rides the bus and rings the bell for Salvation Army, and is aware that his functioning in society is a testament to better social acceptance of the disabled. But right now, he's just wounded to the core because a group of kids thought it would be great to make fun of him. <br />"I'm so very sorry, honey," I told him, and rubbed his back during the hug. "You just forget about them, okay?" He nodded, still unable to speak. "You know how your phone message says that you'll be able to overcome all of this?" <br />He nodded again, as he lives in an assisted living home, he has his own apartment and advocates for better treatment of the disabled. He speaks and gets out there every day, doing his work, going to appointments, and riding the bus everywhere. So he's a representative of the cause and is all too aware that he's doing what he can to make this kind of thing better.<br />"Well, it will happen, okay? You just have to keep going. And I was too busy to give you a hug today..." He pulled back, and I smiled into his teary blue eyes. <br />"Yeah, I didn't want to bother you - you were busy."<br />"Were you crying in the bathroom?"<br />"Yeah." His eyes teared up again, and I gave him another hug.<br />"If that ever happens outside the clinic, you come in and tell me, okay? I'll talk to them -"<br />He pulled back again, standing up straight. "But I need to have an appointment to come here, don't I?"<br />"Yes, you do. I just mean if you're coming in to your appointment and that happens, you tell me. I'll be sure to tell them not to do it again." He came in for another hug.<br />"It's okay. It'll be okay. Right now, you just go in there and have a wonderful massage. Okay?" <br />"Yeah. Yeah, okay." He wiped his eyes and smiled, went to give the massage therapist a hug, and went in to his appointment.<br />But I'm caught out here, unable to do the work that took precedence over a person, on the very day he needed a hug most. I'm angry and disappointed with myself, recognizing that the work was an excuse because I let my phobia overcome me to the harm of someone else. I'm always so self-congratulatory about loving everyone and then I fail so abysmally that I'm consumed with self condemnation.<br />I'm going to be lucky to muster the time and energy to volunteer with Kim at the Union Gospel Mission, and this terrible emptiness which I used to fill with volunteering has been filming over and hardening. I'm sick of questioning whether or not to donate to this or that, or to give that person on the side of road some cash because I know that the odds are against them actually needing it. I used to be angry at people abusing the system, and I still am because it means one less person who really needs it getting the help that can get them out of the cold. But I'm starting to see that this perspective keeps me from sharing, and hardens that core of my soul even more. <br />I need a shiny hammer and the guts to break things like complacency, fear, sloth, and the self indulgence that has been glazing me over before I get so hard that I can't move anymore.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-28559881018445650922008-09-24T22:11:00.000-07:002008-09-24T22:45:43.962-07:00GoldenOh, this wacky financial crisis. Isn't it fascinating to see the scramble of each party as they rally round the family? With a pocketful of shells for every sucker - oh, I mean voter - who has turned on the news today.<br /><br />We got the president telling us in a folksy tone what a mess our economy has become. Mysteriously. Let's not point any fingers, especially at those who might be funding this boy's lifestyle post presidency. Oh, and I don't recall him moderating his language to avoid a panic - nope, it was definitely to cause one. Maybe everyone will dial their representatives and yell at them to vote for the bailout - hell, any bailout! - while they run to the banks. Good work, W!<br /><br />Then we also get the Democratic reps releasing a news feed about how they've got this all figured out and will put a bill before Congress tomorrow. And no worries, folks! We're the majority, so it's a shoo in! Yep, that's right. No one can oppose us. This whole 'representative' thing doesn't mean we represent what those dopes - oops, voters - want, but rather what party they checked off on that ballot. So we'll send out a generalization of a petition under the guise of polling for opposition against golden handshakes for execs and use those names as voters who 'approve' a bill that we've not released yet. Brilliant! <br /><br />Even better, the Dems are commenting on McCain's toddering over to the White House as a sign that he's getting desperate and trying to use the crisis as a campaign booster. Ummm...yeah. Like Obama's just sitting on his campaign bus preparing for the debate. Sure, McCain has had more face time with W, but that's no reason to be bitter. He's definitely trying to work this, but Obama is also trying to be engaged in the process. And come on - wouldn't we think less of them if they sat back at fundraising dinners and watched it on TV?<br /><br />McCain just doesn't want to do the debate, though, so he's trying to make a case for the debate to be postponed 'during the crisis.' Really? You want to go there? It's bad enough that the press had to threaten to boycott the muzzled Palin meet and greet tour (coming soon to a city near you! Watch her talk animatedly with semi world leaders! See her nod and look touched and concerned all at the same time! Wish you could read lips because there's no sound!), but now you're going to give another signal that you have no confidence, this time in your own ability to talk without a script? Sheesh.<br /><br />But, as amusing as today has been for me, I'm still peering over the cliff's edge. Houses in my neighborhood sit empty. We're cutting back on our expenses and trying to focus on paying down our debt. I'm beginning to doubt whether or not I should continue my schooling right now or take some time off in the light of the coming credit crackdowns. And yet, the Bush administration suggests that we just pat the heads of those individuals who have taken money from uninformed and misguided Americans and walked away laughing while those people stumbled under the weight of the consequence of their financial ignorance. And all of us will pay for the gilding of the handshake these companies will receive? I can only think of those houses, sitting empty, those lots of undeveloped land in my area that disillusioned Americans now pine for, and feel an overwhelming sense of betrayal.<br /><br />The waves are crashing below us and the tide is coming in.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-17114650087280058542008-09-11T23:14:00.000-07:002008-09-12T00:32:55.267-07:00I Heart Me Some ChewbaccaHey, yeah - it's me. It is I. Gone for long enough that the two people who were reading my blog probably think I have disappeared into the ether, never to corporealize again. Hmm. Corporealize sounds in my head with a Texan accent. Oddness.<br /><br />We were in Vegas a scant two weeks ago, Keefe and I. Had us some fun and wandered around the strip to have frozen drinks in ridiculously oversized mugs that lit up at the base, dinner at the Top of the World Restaurant (which was actually quite fabulous), and a good time by wandering around Vegas, opening entertainments like your close friend's cupboards to find some comfortingly familiar things and surprising new items. The best part was the burning passion that was kindled at the Hilton. I never thought my eyes would stray, but he just -<br /><br />Well, he's big and strong and has these beautiful baby blues that just melt your heart, even while appreciating his dangerous side. Sure, if he were to ever come for a visit, I would need a plumber on standby to keep my drains clear, but there's just something about that little Wookiee yell that makes my heart flutter...<br /><br />It was that yell that drew my eyes to the machine from halfway across the casino. So I prepared for some fun. I had just popped a twenty into the Star Wars slot machine, and hit one eensy little button. And there he was, and there, and again, yep - again, and I'm not IG-88ing you - AGAIN! Do you know what five Chewbaccas mean to me? Palpitations and a cool bean. I'm very small potatoes, so $100 is big to me. I danced around, got all giddy, posed for a picture, and then went to another machine. That one was tapped out, I thought to myself.<br /><br />So I repeated the procedure - this time with a ticket worth $114.50 - hit my Max Bet, and bopped my head to the Williams' music magic and literally got chills when the next result was shown. There was a few more Chewbaccas in this arrangement as it was more than one line that hit, so it was worth $110! I was very calm this time (likely since I expected a full contingent of purple bunnies with camo and Uzis to morph out of the machine to take me away). I just looked at it, printed my ticket, and waited for Keefe to finish his current slotplay. But the calm wore off when no reality-challenging personificated animal life dripped into being around me, and I had to get another picture. I was so happy. So. Very. Happy.<br /><br />And to console myself these past two weeks, when the clinic is nightmarish, or I'm tempted to ram someone's car off the road because they are too slow to live, I return to that happy time. I see the blue eyes, the chestnut fur/hair. I hear that rousing refrain of times past, times when Lucas brought joy to his fans because he actually cared to work at the product he released; times when he was open to ideas and got valid input from those around him instead of just nose enemas, and I think: Yesssss [drool, drool].<br /><br />Right. Well, let's clean up here. So, I have my Keefe, Family, Friends. They're the most important thing. The Oxford class that just started this week, that's a good thing. Once it's geared up, I'll let you know about it. We're just in the honeymoon phase of the class right now, getting online and setting ourselves up. Um. I just did a very quick little exercise in my head to list out the things that make me happy. Keefe, Family, Friends, Learning. All other things I came up with revolve around these items. Can't I just sell my crap, move everyone to England, and go to school for the rest of my life? Huh? Please? Yeah, didn't think so.<br /><br />So where do all my other activities fit in? The interest in politics? People and Learning. Hobbies like scrapbooking, cards, gaming, reading - the same. Singing? Nope. I don't sing for others typically, so guess that one doesn't fit. Writing, though, is about people and learning for me, so that does. I sing every day, though, and it does make me happy. So is my list then Keefe, Family, Friends, Learning, Singing? How ridiculous! But my addled brain seems to accept it now, and it's like each is a side of my homeplate to happiness. As long as I touch a few sides of it as I'm sliding in from work, obligations, social constructs, or my own self-directed fear mongering, I'll have a homerun to happy.<br /><br />But now I need to get a homerun to sleepytime. But here's a cool link to <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2008/09/08/DI2008090802125.html">The Washington Post's Post Politics Hour</a>, which is a daily discussion at 10 a.m. with their Congressional and White House correspondents. The link is to a specific discussion that has a lot of interesting facts about Palin, but you can wander and see more updated, pertinent forays into public versus media political commutation. A point of interest is the discovery that <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/08/AR2008090803088_pf.html">she had taken a per diem payment from the state for over 300 nights that she was staying in her own home</a>. Per diem is to reimburse you for expenses you incur while travelling on the clock, not kicking back in your own house. Geesh.<br /><br />This race is going to be so much fun. Maybe I should add it to my happiness parameters?Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-839440733056230722008-07-10T14:14:00.000-07:002008-07-10T14:17:00.758-07:00Found this on The Root regarding Obama's part in the changing race paradigm of the U.S., inspired by Jesse Jackson's recent speechifying faux pas:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.theroot.com/id/47225?GT1=38002">http://www.theroot.com/id/47225?GT1=38002</a><br /><br />Worth a read as it's a quick snack that has a bite but a quixotically smooth finish.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-11566681069778286642008-06-10T20:49:00.000-07:002008-06-10T21:39:13.330-07:00Suicide KissesI was driving up 405 on my way home from a usability study for Microsoft. Had some fun and got my toy as reward, so not melancholy, despite the weather. I was in a good mood and there was a break in the rain which has been relentless this spring. <br />My eyes were drawn to a hand fluttering out of a driver's window. I love watching people in the other cars, heading towards something or someone. I imagine their lives, taking those flashes I see and creating a flipbook in my mind of who they could be. All these people clutching cell phones, twining hair, eating, reading (I kid not - saw a woman reading a book propped against her steering wheel while merging onto the freeway. Might have mentioned her before), they each have alternate fates that my insatiable imagination has penned in my mind's eye for them.<br />But this hand dancing from an SUV didn't provide anything. I like to think it's because somehow I knew that a piece was missing. Sometimes, on sunny days, I'll cruise my arm out the window, orchestrating music or just dancing with the breeze - I'm running alongside the car, in the sun, even when I don't have time to enjoy the warmth and am zipping from errand to meeting. So my imagination had enough to go on with this butterfly hand, but it was stalling on dead air. I was nearly parallel with the SUV, curious now, when the hand swooped inside and then popped back out again, this time with a cigarette. <br />Such a lovely hand; fine-boned with elegant fingers, youngish, and turned so quickly into an object of pity. The only thought I had was that this woman was slowly killing herself. So no backstory was bubbling up from my creative recesses because it was fruitless, her past. She didn't have much of a future, so forming her past in my head would be a maudlin exercise of futility.<br />I was passing her by, but my thoughts stayed on her and her smoky hand. How sad, I thought. Interesting that I am so convinced of premature passing with that habit. My mind went exactly there - oops, kiss her goodbye. What a waste. Yet on a more surface level, I'm not sickened by smoking, it's just not for me. But I do have the underlying belief that it shortens lives and that those who do smoke, die younger than they might have. Probably from my father dying as young as he did. And it's just true that every smoker I've met knows they should quit and that it's harmful, but they do it anyway.<br />It's been hours, and I had forgotten until Keefe was playing GTA IV, smashing his car through police barricades and swooping over pedestrians and I was suddenly reminded. I don't know why. But I felt the need to post a farewell kiss to the suicide girl.<br />SWAKCat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-37182776464592673232008-05-21T17:14:00.000-07:002008-05-21T17:26:16.035-07:00Anchoring Tags in HTMLGood explanation of creating anchors in HTML so you can link to a section of a page you've created, in order to jump to a particular point on the page from a link. I got this from <a href="http://www.slis.indiana.edu/faculty/hrosenba/www/Demo/Demo2.html">Indiana University's coding pages</a>:<br /><br /><li>You can also link to a specific part of another document that you have created. In the destination document you use the following markup: <p></p><blockquote><p><b><a name="anchor name"></b>text<b></a></b></p></blockquote><p>In the main document, where the user will see the link, you put the following markup:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="pagename.html#anchor name"></b>text<b></a></b></p></blockquote><p>So in the destination document (which in this case is the Table of Contents (<b>DemoCon.html</b>), you would place the following markup tags somewhere on the page (in this case the last word of the first paragraph).</p><blockquote><p><b><a name="Links"></b>current<b></a></b></p></blockquote><p>And in the document (<b>this one</b>) where the link appears, you would place the following markup tags in the place that will be the jumpoff point (which is the sentence that follows the markup example):</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="DemoCon.html#Links"></b>link<b></a></b></p></blockquote><p>So it will look like this:</p></li><li><p>You can use this <a href="http://www.blogger.com/DemoCon.html#Links">link</a> to go to the section of the Table of Contents page with the link back to this <a name="Lunk">page</a>!</p></li><br /><p>Just thought it was cool and wanted to share.</p>Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-2292545681853061052008-05-14T17:49:00.000-07:002008-05-14T18:23:09.664-07:00Peek a Boo!Wow, out of commission for a little while there. Holiday, longer work days, and laziness all combined to produce a big batch of -- nothing! <br /><br />Strangely, I'm not too disappointed with that, though. I've been pretty happy with my Legos, watching Keefe on Grand Theft Auto, and organizing my scrapbooking stuff.<br /><br />GTA is insane! The gameplay is a bit clunky here and there, though, so in a hurry you can hit your cell phone instead of running or get in a taxi as a passenger rather than jacking it if you stand in the slightly wrong place. Otherwise, loads of bloody goodness with spatters on your car if you mow down the screaming pedestrians and lots of extra fun to be had in the absofreaking huge Liberty City. Wow! They were not kidding around on this map - even if you don't play, you need to see the representation of Times Square. It's beautiful.<br /><br />As for the campaign stuff, the Congressional District Caucus is this weekend, and now that Clinton has won another pool of delegates, it's a bigger priority than it was just last week. So I'll be going as an alternate and hoping that all the delegates show so I can get out and enjoy the sunshine. Why the decreased focus? Because this caucus is the one that 100+ people are campaigning for (drumroll, please) THREE spots. Three! And each person gets to make a one minute speech. It's going to take HOURS.<br /><br />I'm not running for this one since I personally feel that the Elections Committee needs to be comprised of individuals with more political experience than I. So since the weather report calls for sunny skies that have seriously been lacking lately, I am praying for everyone to show up with bells on so I can run out into the sun. Oh, please. Please.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-27605666385314011102008-04-22T22:34:00.000-07:002008-04-22T23:08:57.081-07:00Pursuit of NothingnessI've had so much fun being a delegate so far, and have found that I love to talk to people about the campaign. A hard task because politics cannot be discussed with just anyone. There are those who get so emotionally invested in such things that they become unreasonable, and make judgements about others who do not share their views. Well, this can even happy without the emotional component. I've done this.<br />One of the girls in the clinic is a Republican. I used to think that Republicans were people who didn't appreciate advancement; types who felt that the old ways are the best ones, most likely were very religious, and that all this 'new fangled' stuff was for the donkeys. But she's very broad-minded, open to new ideas, has a tattoo, and likes Science Fiction as well as video games. Darn it! But she does have a strong faith perspective.<br />I'm really happy that I'm wrong, because I detest classification but recognize it as a natural tendency of us humans, so roll with it when the slope gets too slopey. But it really makes me ask what the difference in all this is. I dislike the leanings of politicos lately of wanting everyone to cork themselves into a bottle of one party or the other, such as being required to vote party lines. This is because I've favored candidates from both parties before, though lately that has declined enough that I can seat myself in the Democrat section. Yet now I ask, what does a Republican make? Compare the main national parties:<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republican_Party_%28United_States%29#Current_ideology">Republican</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Party_(United_States)#Ideology_and_voter_base">Democrat</a><br /><br />You'll note that I had to use Wikipedia. Fascinating, really. But the Republican party website lists out their ideology quite well, as well as their worship of Ronald Reagan, whereas the Democratic party website only has the last approved platform and a host of links that do not specify Democratic ideology, just lots of contribution and volunteering links. Hmm.<br />Either way, it's a good thing to read up on and be familiar with terms that are tossed around like lettuce pieces in the salad of today's journalism. One wonders if the pundits have become the pun.<br />Obviously, I'm having a great time with this and am looking forward to the Congressional District caucus. But I know I don't want to run for the Elections Committee for Washington State at that caucus, since they are responsible for so much. I don't have the background for it. Hopefully, I can play a part electing others who might be willing to suggest me as an At Large Delegate for National. Oooh! Look how easy it is to become a politician!!<br />Oh, sadness. Laundry calls. I think I'll stay hidden here in the computer room, scrapbooking my little heart out until it's too late for folding.<br />But two late little notes: I'm successful so far in the poem a day thingy, though I've started writing more than one per day. Curses! It's a good kind o bad, really. And I am now armed with my <a href="http://www.xbox360achievements.org/game/lego-star-wars-the-complete-saga/achievements/">360 Achievements for Legos Star Wars</a>. Maybe instead of scrapbooking, I'll go rip the arms off 25 stormtroopers to get my Let The Wookiee Win. Eeee heee hee.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-33488999390685711012008-04-20T23:58:00.000-07:002008-04-21T00:03:06.779-07:00Two Minutes TillOkay, I have two minutes to post here before the maudlin hour. I can do it!<br />We had a great weekend of fun, lots of scrapbooking and I got the craft room organized a little better. Mom and I went shopping today and had a nice time, without feeling too crazed. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow because DG is in a mood and has invited his sister to join the clinic even though I asked him strongly not to. It's going to be fun trying to juggle the responsibility of training her as well as dealing with any nepotism.<br />Keefe and I had a nice morning, though it's never enough time. He's going to catch up on Battlestar G and finally see The Lost Boys. Weird that he hasn't seen it before. Sadness that Torchwood season has ended with such overblown and yet predictable plotting, but great happiness that Doctor Who is on Sci Fi!<br />And I'm 25% done with Legos Star Wars! Whoohoo!Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-41004632758864664532008-04-16T15:46:00.000-07:002008-04-16T16:17:04.464-07:00Yay!Okay, reading the titles of this blog may lead one to think that I'm bipolar lately. But I recovered from Monday with a lovely evening of tasty dinner and Doctor Who with Keefe. Then, Tuesday was decent, I got a lot done in the clinic, and now Wednesday has started off with a wonderful surprise.<br /><br />The Poem A Day guy featured one of my poems! I'm insanely jazzed; I feel like I got published. Here's the link, though you'll have to go to Day 7 Highlights and page down a bit to see me:<br /><br /><a href="http://blog.writersdigest.com/poeticasides/">So cool</a><br /><br />Just had to share. I sent an email to the fabulous writing square ladies because of this and also because I got my most recent project done. It's a short story that might turn into a larger one, and I'm also ridiculously happy about being done. I think it's because I've spent so long on prior projects that being done has always been a big deal. Hopefully, I'll be so much more productive in the future that this will stop being the case.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-42642585465722096092008-04-14T14:32:00.000-07:002008-04-14T14:42:44.643-07:00YeahDoes somebody have a case of the Mondays?<br /><br />Crankiness has a new poster child. Me. I get in to work this morning, late, with the fill-in doctor waiting in the parking lot. The cleaning crew didn't make it, so I'm rushing around trying to clean the place while he's chittering at me. <br />Why's it so cold in here? Oh, that would be because DG turned off the heat over the weekend. Lovely. Frickin' icebox. So I turn that on and begin to wonder what I did wrong. Why's there hate on me? Just in time for the wave of patients to crash in the door and cry about DG being gone today. More snarky comments about vacation. Actually, no - there's a family member in the hospital. I don't even feel bad for making them feel bad. Another bad.<br />Then the therapists poke their heads out of the massage rooms, hair plastered to their heads from the sauna-like conditions. I wrestle with the heater, but it insists that it's still only 64 degrees. I lose. Oh, well. We'll call is hot massage and charge extra for it. Worked for yoga.<br />Lunch begins with everyone leaving, even Mr. Chitters. But he returns, oh so quickly, to request that I turn off the lights in the treatment rooms so he can nap. Fine. The phone rings off the hook while I try to eat lunch and then succeed in dumping my Izzi soda ALL OVER myself and the floor. Then comes the people while I'm mopping it up and trying hard not to smash the candy dish for real; I just do it in my head, over and over and over.<br />It's only half past two.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10199424.post-86625468557309776142008-04-11T00:20:00.000-07:002008-04-11T00:24:04.307-07:00Suddenly MaudlinI'm still doing the poem a day, which is a lot of fun. I think I'm learning so much just by reading what everyone has posted. Not that I'm applying it or improving. Poetry isn't my thing. Maybe that's why I'm doing this - to try and see if I can improve.<br /><br />At any rate, most of mine have been fun. My topics have ranged from banana chips to Charlie Brown, to Spring snow. And then there's tonights:<br /><br /><strong>Thursday<br /></strong><br />Faded junipers<br />Outlined against the sky, a dull blue<br />With nonchalant smears of cloud<br />Painted on by a hand<br />That now turns away<br />Leaving droplets of disinterest<br />To pool and harden<br /><br />A front lawn crisping<br />Waiting for sprinklers on Saturday<br />With running, wet feet and screams<br />Fading by Sunday<br />And forgotten by Wednesday<br />Just an aspiration today<br />Making it through<br /><br />It's so quiet here it hurts my ears<br /><br />Eek. I should have known not to post anything past midnight. It's my maudlin hour.Cat Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05346758829126755667noreply@blogger.com0